bestillforawhile

falcon

Kill Tech : Machine Rising

The life and times of a mechanical birdboy


bestillforawhile
falcon

RAWR

I'm back little LJ, we'll figure out plenty of nice things to talk about very soon, that's a promise. For now...I'm just here, so hello. =)

bestillforawhile
falcon

So long Livejournal

http://www.rodiary.com/Cocoblast

K thnx, bai!

bestillforawhile
falcon

Freedom!

Freedom! I de-activated my World of Warcraft account on Feb. 24th, and haven’t gone near it since. Let me tell you, it feels good to not log into it, or look at it and worry about levels, or playing it at all. It’s been refreshing, and honestly I only thought about it because someone mentioned it’s existence to me today, haha.

Anyway, I’ve had a surplus of things to do without it, and I’m getting back into the real reason I love computers. That’s right, I’ve been coding. I’m trying to put together a database registry system that will automatically update and handle any devices and clients added to it. So far it’s working decently but still very buggy. Hopefully if I can get it down well enough I can sell the damn thing and make a killing off of it.

I’ve also gotten back into writing, a lot. I’m currently writing a story, or novel even if you will…about someone I truly admire and respect. It’s been interesting as I actually don’t know all that much about the person’s past, so I’m writing it backwards. You never really get to thinking about how little or how much you know about a person until you start trying to write about them or their life. But I guess that’s one of the funny things about people, you never really do understand what exactly you UNDERSTAND about anyone until you really try to break it down and put it to words.

Anyway…with one habit kicked I’ve discovered another. I’m addicted to Coffee, worse than I had ever imagined. I realized that I drink way too much of it, and it could be a big cause of my constant migraines. So I’m trying to cut back. In fact, today I think I drank less than half a pot myself, which is really good. But I need to up my water intake as I lower my coffee intake, otherwise I’ll end up dehydrated. Which actually…I think I was a day or two ago. I was really tired the entire day, and slept a good 10 hours, but I also had a migraine so it might be part of that.

The hunt is on though, it’s Spring…I guess, though the weather would seem to not be able to decide it’s season. But yea, spring and I need to find a nice well rounded PT/FT Job that I can do while working on all this coding jazz. I’d love to hit my name big in the software development world, but I still have to focus on living as it were while doing it. I’ve got my database system nearly done, and hopefully I can submit it to someplace like Mcaffe soon. But until then, gotta get by, so yea…here’s hoping.

Oh…it’s been snowing! Can you imagine that?! I mean how often do you see snow in Texas. We actually had a few inches not too long ago, and it lasted for more than a day, which was amazing. It felt like being back up north, without actually being there. Everyone else seemed so excited, I felt kind of bad not being as excited myself, but oh well I guess.

Anyway, my mind is racing, and it’s 4 AM! I’ll come back and update again soon, I promise. XD

Also, I realize my layout pictures are dead, I'll fix them I swear!

bestillforawhile
falcon

Putting my arms in fragile hands.

I have a very long and interesting post planned for this afternoon; putting this here to remind myself to type it all up.

bestillforawhile
falcon

Elohim...

Apparently the scar on my right arm refers to the Elohim. Not the hebrew translation of Elohim, meaning god. But the raw Enochian translation representing the third angelic choir.

A test I remember taking at one point pointed at me towards the same.


Interesting...

bestillforawhile
falcon

And still...

By understanding, you gain only confusion.

bestillforawhile
falcon

Heh..

Ain't nobody that can catch me, heh.

bestillforawhile
falcon

What you do to me

So, I'm sitting here and someone near and dear to me was here and gone as quickly as he came. He'll be back eventually; but for now he's once again a thousand miles away. And it as usual has me thinking. It's about 2:20 right now, and my mind is running a marathon keeping me awake at night again. On top of that I have a major sunburn on the back of my neck and covering both of my arms; so not only am I sitting here lost in my own thoughts, I'm also in some serious pain. And that brings us to the topic of the evening.

It's an interesting thought to be honest. Our own minds are some of our worst enemies. We sit, lost in our thoughts. They tend to flow along the lines of love, money, life in general, and of course to our thoughts about those very close to us. These thoughts may always start as happy moments forever etched into our memories. But they quickly turn to the what if's, and that's where we fail to stop ourselves. From that point a downward spiral occurs, rushing us into a pool of thoughts that nearly always are without reason totally negative. We wonder if people are doing okay, and if we will ever see them again. We sit in our idle state staring off into open space, and realize that we know nothing about the what if's, and it's those if's that we worry so about. They toss into our common streams of thoughts concerns about how things could have been, or perhaps will be. We then lose memory and also our grasp on the present. We all do it, and if you say you don't then you're clearly a liar or a hopeless optimist. And if the latter is the case, please stop reading as I am hopelessly negative, and only deal in the realms of our deepest and often darkest thoughts.

Anyway, these thoughts come together and in the end make us wonder what after the if's have past; we could have done or could do, to exact the changes we have seen in our thoughts; or in many cases again...avoid them. But we cannot change the past, no matter how much that might hurt. We also cannot determine the future. We can pilot our own actions to the course we seek, however those of others we can only make speculations about. So you can never truly determine an outcome when it does not involve only yourself. And nothing in this world involves a single person. Yes, I'm sorry; you are not the center of all reality. So the thoughts continue, they tumble about with no fences to hold them in place; and once they reach their apex we become given manifest their darkest parts in our physical realm. Often times, this is depression, sometimes anxiety. At any rate, it's a change we did not desire; and though it may be temporary the more we give it focus the more it will show it's signs to us.

The point of all this? Next time you're having your thoughts wander aimlessly; write them down. Look at them when you're not alone in the dark; and maybe you'll realize just how silly your outrageous ideas are. Of course...if you're crazy you might not. But hell, we're all crazy to some degree. Don't let it rule your life, or the things you want might just get further and further away.

-Aloha =)

bestillforawhile
falcon

So like...

I just remembered the password to this old thing, nifty eh?

Hello to all you out there, once again!

bestillforawhile
falcon

Lawwwwllll!!!




hehehehe....

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